Nine and Ten Year Visits

School

• Show interest in your child’s school activities.  School performance is important.  Stay involved with teachers. 

• Create a quiet space for homework.  Set routines for homework and be available for your child’s questions.

• Get help if you know bullying is occurring at your child’s school.

• Joining clubs and teams, church groups, and friends for activities is a fun way to stay healthy and enjoy being with others outside of school.

Parenting

• Promote self responsibility at home.  Assign age appropriate chores. Promote independence by encouraging age appropriate decisions making.

• Provide some personal space for your child at home if possible.

• Anticipate that your child may begin to show some early adolescent behaviors, including the strong influence of peers, and change in parental communication patterns, challenges to authority and rules, conflicts over independence, reluctance to participate in family

activities, moodiness and some risk taking.  Serve as a role model for your child.  Work to have positive interactions and stay a part of the child’s life.

• Handle anger constructively.  Do not allow physical or verbal violence. Encourage compromise.  No corporeal punishment.  Be a role model by admitting mistakes and asking for forgiveness.  

• Supervise your child and their peers.  Make your home a welcome place for your child’s friends.

• Reinforce the importance of respectful behaviors.  

• Talk to your child about not using drugs, smoking or using inhalants.

• Talk to your child about friendships.  Good friends are important.  Someone who makes you feel bad or asks you to do harmful things is not a good friend.  Teach your child to say no.

• If your child seems very sad or expresses thoughts of suicide, call your pediatrician.

• Ask your child what questions they have about the changes in their body.  You may want to give the child an age appropriate book about puberty.  Ask your pediatrician to recommend one.

• Be prepared to answer questions about sexuality and to provide concrete examples of behaviors that are not acceptable to you.  Discuss sexuality even if it seems unlikely.   

• Talk to your child about prevention of body odor, acne, and body changes such as pubic and underarm hair.  Girls can have their first period as young as ten years old, but usually by 13.  Give girls instructions on what to do when it happens to them and help them understand it is normal.  Talk to boys about voice changes and nighttime ejaculations.  This is uncomfortable for some parents.  Keep your discussion factual and simple to understand.

Nutrition and Physical Activity

• Your child will now be in situations where they choose what they eat.  Help your child understand the importance of healthy food choices.

• Children ages 9-18 need three cups of milk or dairy products each day to get adequate calcium.  

• Share family mealtimes together when possible.  Avoid watching TV while you eat.  Encourage conversation.

• Don’t skip meals.  If your child has weight concerns, talk about them with your pediatrician.  A child this age should not adopt fad diets.

• Support your child’s interests in sports and outside activities.  Do something every day that makes you sweat and try to get at least an hour of physical activity each day.  Encourage physical activity with friends and family members.

Oral Health

• Continue to visit a dentist twice yearly and brush your teeth and floss.

• Wear mouth guards for sports and call your dentist for any injury of your teeth.

Safety

• The back seat is the safest place to ride.  Switch from the booster seat to the safety belt in the rear seat.

• Use safety equipment such as helmets and pads.

• Your child should know how to swim.  Continue to supervise your child around water.  Never allow your child to swim in fast moving water or to dive unless an adult has checked out the depth.   

• Always wear a US Coast Guard approved life jacket when boating.

• Keep putting on that sunscreen.

• Tobacco, alcohol and drugs are new risks as children approach middle school.  Children need clear messages about substance use.  If alcohol is used in the home, it should be appropriate and discussed with the child.  If you smoke, please quit and discuss the dangers of smoking

with your child.  We can help you with resources to help you quit smoking.

• Your child needs to know to call to be picked up if they feel in an uncomfortable situation.  Pick up first, ask questions later.

• Homicide and suicide are more common in homes that have guns.  Keep guns out of the house or lock the gun and ammunition separately.  Keep the key where children do not have access.  Talk to your children about gun safety.